En resumen (the short version)
- Most of the awkwardness comes from the first ten seconds: tú or usted, how to get someone's attention, and what to say first.
- Get attention with perdona or oye, say you're learning, then start with a compliment and a question.
- The easiest conversation to start is the second one, so ask people how something turned out: ¿Al final…?
✌🏼 ¡Hola aventurero!
You've been practising for weeks. There's a Spanish speaker right there: at the next table, in your class, at work. And you say nothing. Not because you don't know any Spanish, but because you don't know how to start 😬
If that sounds familiar, this post is for you. Knowing how to start a conversation in Spanish is mostly about those first ten seconds. Once you're past them, you've got the Spanish you already know to work with.
So let's sort out the first ten seconds: who to call tú, how to get someone's attention, and a few easy ways in.
Why the first line feels so hard
In your own language, starting a conversation takes no thought at all. In Spanish, a few questions all land at the same time:
- ❌ Do I say tú or usted?
- ❌ How do I get their attention without sounding rude?
- ❌ What do I actually say first?
- ❌ What if they answer and I don't understand a word?
That's a lot to deal with in the two seconds before you open your mouth. No wonder you stay quiet.
The good news is that you can answer all four before you leave the house. Vamos por partes (let's take it one bit at a time). And if it's more nerves than awkwardness, have a look at scared of speaking Spanish? Let's fix that.
Tú or usted? Decide before you speak
Teacher bit first 🤓 Spanish has two ways to say "you". Tú is informal. Usted is polite, and it takes the same verb ending as él and ella: tú tienes, usted tiene.
In Spain, people use tú much more than most learners expect. Adults of a similar age usually use tú with each other straight away, even with strangers. Usted is mostly for older people and more formal places.
| Who you're talking to | Usually | Example |
|---|---|---|
| Someone around your age at a class, a party or a bar | tú | ¿Tú también vienes los martes? |
| A colleague, even a new one | tú | ¿Llevas mucho tiempo en la empresa? |
| A waiter or shop assistant in a café or a normal shop | tú is fine | ¿Me pones un café con leche? |
| Someone clearly older than you | usted | Perdone, ¿sabe a qué hora abren? |
| A doctor, a bank or a government office | usted, at least at first | ¿Me podría decir dónde está la consulta cuatro? |
Not sure? Start with usted. If the other person says Puedes tutearme (you can call me tú), switch. Nobody minds being treated politely, but tú with an older stranger can sound a bit too familiar.
In parts of Latin America, usted is used much more than in Spain, sometimes even between friends and family. So if you practise with someone from Colombia or Costa Rica, don't be surprised if they usted you 😄
Get their attention first
In English you'd probably start with "Sorry…" or "Excuse me…". Spanish has a few of these little starters, and the one you pick depends on tú or usted:
| Spanish | When to use it |
|---|---|
| Perdona… | Polite, with someone you'd call tú |
| Perdone… | Polite, with someone you'd call usted |
| Disculpa… / Disculpe… | The same, a little more formal |
| Oye… | Hey… (with people you know or people your age) |
| Oiga… | Excuse me… (usted, and it can sound abrupt, so add por favor) |
| Hola, buenas. | Hi there. A friendly all-rounder in Spain |
Quick grammar note: these are all commands. Perdona is the tú command of perdonar (to forgive), so you're literally saying "forgive (me)". Oye comes from oír (to hear): "hear (me)". Switch to usted and the ending changes too: perdona → perdone, oye → oiga.
Buenas is short for buenas tardes or buenas noches, and in Spain it works at any time of day.
Say that you're learning
This is the one that takes the most pressure off. Tell the other person you're learning Spanish, right at the start.
It does two useful things. People usually slow down and speak more clearly once they know. And it gives you a topic straight away, because lots of people will ask why you're learning.
| Spanish | English |
|---|---|
| Perdona, estoy aprendiendo español. | Sorry, I'm learning Spanish. |
| ¿Te importa si practico un poco contigo? | Do you mind if I practise a bit with you? |
| Si digo algo mal, corrígeme. | If I say something wrong, correct me. |
| ¿Puedes hablar un poco más despacio? | Can you speak a bit more slowly? |
| Perdona, no te he entendido. | Sorry, I didn't understand. |
Look at the last one: no te he entendido, not no te entendí. In Spain, people use the he + past form for something that's only just happened. More on that in Spanish past tenses explained.
Say it once. If every sentence starts with perdón, mi español es muy malo, the conversation turns into a conversation about how bad your Spanish is. Say you're learning, then carry on.
Start with a compliment
Another easy way in: notice something about the other person and say something nice about it. Then ask a question about it, so they've got something to answer.
| Compliment | Then ask | In English |
|---|---|---|
| ¡Qué bonita tu chaqueta! | ¿Dónde la has comprado? | What a nice jacket! Where did you get it? |
| Me encanta tu bici. | ¿Es eléctrica? | I love your bike. Is it electric? |
| ¡Qué bien huele eso! | ¿Qué es? | That smells great! What is it? |
| Hablas muy bien inglés. | ¿Dónde lo aprendiste? | You speak really good English. Where did you learn it? |
Notice the la in ¿Dónde la has comprado? It's la because chaqueta is feminine. For un abrigo (a coat), it would be ¿Dónde lo has comprado? A small detail, but it's the kind that makes your Spanish sound right.
For one week, pay one compliment in Spanish every day and follow it with a question from the table: to a classmate, a colleague or someone at a language exchange. Short is fine.
The easiest conversation is the second one
You don't have to start from zero every time. If you've spoken to someone once, the next conversation is much easier to start, because you can ask how something turned out.
| Spanish | English |
|---|---|
| ¿Al final fuiste a la boda? | Did you go to the wedding in the end? |
| ¿Qué tal te fue el examen? | How did your exam go? |
| ¿Cómo está tu madre? ¿Ya está mejor? | How's your mum? Is she better? |
| ¿Has empezado ya en el trabajo nuevo? | Have you started the new job yet? |
| ¿Qué tal el viaje a Lisboa? | How was the trip to Lisbon? |
Al final (in the end) is the useful one here. Put it at the start of a question in the past and you're asking how a story ended: ¿Al final compraste el coche? (Did you buy the car in the end?)
After you chat with someone in Spanish, note one thing they told you on your phone, like boda el sábado or examen el lunes. Next time you see them, your first line is ready. Nobody needs to know 😉
Here's how a second conversation can sound, at a pottery class:
Tú viniste because they're about the same age, al final to ask how the vase story ended, and when a word was missing, Tom said he was learning and asked. Three things from this post in eight lines ✨
Try it this week
Decide tú or usted for three people
Think of three people you might speak Spanish to this week, like a classmate, a neighbour or a waiter. Decide tú or usted for each one, then say your first word out loud: Perdona… or Perdone…
Get your "I'm learning" line ready
Pick one sentence from the "Phrases for saying you're learning" table, like ¿Te importa si practico un poco contigo?, and say it until it comes out without thinking.
Ask one "al final" question
Next time you see someone you've already chatted with, ask how something turned out: ¿Al final fuiste a…?
Once you've started, here's how to keep a Spanish conversation going past line two. And for quick chats in queues and cafés, see small talk in Spain.
Recap ✨
- Most of the awkwardness is in the first ten seconds: tú or usted, getting attention, what to say first, and what happens if you don't understand.
- In Spain, use tú with people around your age and usted with older people. If in doubt, start with usted.
- Get someone's attention with perdona (tú) or perdone (usted), or oye with people you know.
- Say you're learning, once, and ask people to slow down if you need to.
- Start with a compliment and a question, or ask how something turned out: ¿Al final…?
The quickest way to stop feeling awkward is to start a lot of conversations. In the Aventureros Club you can start as many as you like, with other aventureros who know exactly how that first line feels 🎉
Now tell me 👀 Which part feels most awkward for you: the first word, tú or usted, or not understanding the answer? Cuéntame in the comments!
Lucía ✨
Lucía · Linguist, translator, Spanish teacher and author of the Visual Spanish Grammar Book.
Come and learn Spanish with me and other aventureros like yourself at skool.com/learnspanish 🎉